• Indianapolis, IN
Polyamory in Indianapolis

What’s Your Poly Flavor? – A presentation by Misty M.

What’s Your Poly Flavor? – A presentation by Misty M.

What if there were a Myers-Briggs test for polyamory? This discussion identifies several components, styles, and values that make up every person’s polyamory personality or “flavor”.

Each attendee fills out a custom name tag (image below) while we discuss the different aspects of poly identity.

Presented at P.E.A.S. – August 16th, 2015 by Misty


Speed: How quickly do you form connections/relationships in general?

Fluid – More rapid in forming emotional and/or sexual connections.

Growth – Deliberate in forming emotional and/or sexual connections.

Static – Slow moving in forming emotional and/or sexual connections.


Structure: How would you describe your ideal poly relationship structure?

Open – People come and go at will, forming “polycules” which consist of individual dyadic relationships

Network – People often connect socially with metamours. Some sort of “get to know you” is usually requested or offered early on in becoming part of the extended group.

Closed – Approval of existing members needed before new member is allowed to join.


Attitude: What level of entanglement is desired with partners and/or metamours?

Independent – Prefers to do their own thing with their own partner.

Community – Enjoys being part of socially connected groups some of the time.

Family – Actively prioritizes shared time and/or space with partners and metamours.


Intimacy: How is romantic closeness with others achieved? (More than one may apply.)

Sexual – Connects with others via sharing physical intimacy.

Emotional – Connects with others via shared feelings.

Activities and shared experiences – Connects with others via sharing experiences and spending time together.


Prioritization: How are relationships prioritized?

Hierarchical – Priority is given to preservation of existing primary relationship(s).

Weighted – Some relationships are prioritized over others, but open to changes, adding an additional primary, etc.

Egalitarian – Committed to not prioritizing some relationships over others.


Saturation: What would your ideal concentration look like?

Full-boat – Completely satisfied with current relationship(s). Prefer relationships to dating.

Open – Open to opportunities to connect, neither closed off to forming new relationships, nor actively looking, but being closed to possibilities would feel restrictive.

Actively seeking – Looking for new connections regardless of current partner status. Consistently open to dating and exploration.


Nature vs Nurture:

Born Poly – Came out of the womb hardwired for multiple relationships. Being monogamous would feel unnatural.

Choice – Poly makes sense, and is a desired style of relationship for a myriad of reasons. Unlikely to get into a monogamous relationship.

Either – Mono or poly. Happy being open to either poly or mono, depending on circumstances in life, if current partner is open to poly, etc.


Flow of Information: How much information would be shared in your ideal situation?

Confidential – No desire to hear about other partners or activities and/or have information about the relationship they are involved in shared with metamours, unless explicitly approved in advance.

Pertinent – Don’t need to have all the details, but want to have personally relevant information shared.

Transparency – Desire the free flow of information about all relationships partners are involved in and are comfortable with partner sharing that with metamours.


Formality: To what degree of formality would partners’ agreements be structured?

Detailed – Extensive agreements/contracts covering every eventuality.

General – Conscious agreements about a few major subjects.

Short-term – Temporary agreements only.


Voting Rights: What rights do partners have with regards to voting and vetoes?

Veto – Veto power is a basic part of my relationships.

Early Veto – Veto power is part of my relationships, but only in early stages where emotional investment is low.

No Veto – Veto power is not part of my relationships, ever.


Openness to the Community: How open or “out” are you?

Partners & Poly Community – Only “out” to current and prospective partners, and to the poly community.

Selective – Share with current and prospective partners, the poly community, and some non-poly people in your life; not explicitly “out” as poly to some people in your life.

Everyone – Open about being poly to everyone (or nearly everyone) you know


Kinky: To what extent are relationships defined by kink/BDSM?

Poly First, Kinky Second.

Kinky First, Poly Second.

Not Kinky – only poly.




Adapted with permission from: http://polytripod.blogspot.com/2011/10/poly-myers-briggs.html


Click the image below to download your name-tag.

What is your Poly Flavor - Nametag